Posted on February 4, 2009 by Steven Byrnes
Posted on February 4, 2009 by Steven Byrnes
After my dad went on disability a few years ago, I decided to take care of myself a little better, and especially to lose some weight. I got a physical for the first time in years. And I started eating a lot healthier. Over the next couple of years, I lost over 50 lbs and became a little more (and sometimes a lot more) active. I kept the weight off, and I felt years younger.
Then last spring, I got a lot busier. I didn’t sleep as regularly. I stopped all walking. (Which had already tapered off around the time our daughter was born.) I started eating a lot more poorly.
So here I am, at the beginning of 2009, almost 20 pounds heavier than I was a year ago. Ugh! I’m not getting any younger, and I’m feeling the weight, even though I’m not nearly as heavy as I was 4 years ago. So, in commemoration of Groundhog Day, I’m starting a new stage of healthfulness. Like before, my goal is slow & steady. Eating right, a little activity. Nothing drastic. Just consistency. Every day.
Filed under: journal | Tagged: journal health | Leave a Comment »
Posted on December 25, 2008 by Steven Byrnes
Saying “Happy Holidays” just seems so… impersonal. So, I decided to be more specific. Initially, I just wished people Happy Chriskwanzukkah. Now, this year, I’ve been wishing people Happy Chriskwanzukkahmadan. Now, I think I’m missing some things. So maybe next year it’ll be Chrikwanzukkahmadanivus?
Or maybe I’ll start wishing people Happy Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious… (Seen way too much Mary Poppins recently.)
Filed under: ponderance | Leave a Comment »
Posted on December 21, 2008 by Steven Byrnes
My bologna has a first name… it’s Mechanically Separated Turkey. My bologna has a second name, it’s water.
Oh wait, that’s the ingredient list.
But I’m intrigued. Mechanically separated turkey? That sounds deliciously… gruesome. Do they mechanically separate the turkey while it’s still alive? Because that would be so cool. Kind of like a horcrux in Harry Potter. You could only make one by killing a person. This is the same thing. Except substitute turkey for a person, and instead of a magical object that contains part of your soul, you have a meat product that we feed to children. Otherwise, same thing.
I wonder… maybe bologna does have magical powers… I’ll have to check that out.
Filed under: ponderance | Tagged: baloney, bologna, lift and separate, ponderance, turkey | Leave a Comment »
Posted on December 21, 2008 by Steven Byrnes
I hate those types that are smart, but overly literal. I remember getting into an argument with another kid when I was much younger. I think we were both in 1st grade.
I caught “Fred” (not his real name; “John” was his real name) in what I believed to be a factual lapse, so I put him on notice.
“Liar liar pants on fire.”
“No they’re not,” intoned Fred. Notice how clever he was, ignoring the lying bit & going right to the second part of the idiom.
“It’s an expression. You’re still a liar.”
“Well, it’s a very stupid expression. My pants are clearly not on fire. You just did it so you could rhyme, and as a pathetic attempt at conformity by using an old, tired saw. Why couldn’t you pick another word besides “fire”.”
“Ok”, I said, starting to get inspired. “What do you expect me to say? You have a large spare tire?” (He was a bit chubby.) “You’re a member of the Vienna Boy’s Choir? That’s kind of a stretch, in more ways than one, and breaks the cadence. How about ‘it’s so dire?’ That’s a little better. What else rhymes? Mire? Pyre? Sire? Wire? Gyre? Shire? I think I’ll stick with fire.”
“Well, it still doesn’t make sense.”
So I set his pants on fire. He never questioned my choice of idiom ever again…
Filed under: journal | Tagged: people, reminiscences, smart, stupid | Leave a Comment »
Flickr/erewhon
Linkedin/erewhon
Twitter/erewhon
Last.fm/spbyrnes
Del.icio.us/erewhon
